To raise our kids, that is!
In all honesty, the 90's for me was the best years God could have ever blessed upon my soul. Yes, I'm a young buck but that doesn't take away from my childhood days. The days of block parties. Of being able to walk to school by yourself in the third grade without the fear of being kidnapped. Of real fighting with fists and not guns and knives. Of Voltron, G.I.Joe, Rainbow Brite and Thundercats. Of real rap music like Public Enemy and X-Clan. Of videos that featured real dancers wearing real clothes like Cross Colors or Used. Of my neighbors threatning to whupp my tail for fighting out in the street or telling my mom that I was being fresh to my elders...those were days!
Although, I never had the latest gear or the hottest game system (and at the time it was the gray Nintendo), I had it good. Both my parents were still together and they equally pushed me to be the best in school. I hit the honor roll from 2nd grade straight through until 10th. I dropped my zeal for wanting to be part of the elite because at the time I thought I should be rewarded in some shape or fashion for my brilliance. The rewards never came and neither did the recognition, so I chucked my honors status. Now looking back I wish I didn't.
My mindset then lead me to the predicament, myself and other parents of my generation seem to find ourselves in. Are you familiar with the phrase.."I want my kids to have it better than I did." or " They shouldn't have to go through what I went through." Well dummies, what exactly did we go through? I'm gonna' fess up and say that I straight up expected to be spoiled, being that I am the baby and the only girl. My point...we give our kids just like we promised. Our version of better. But look at what we unleashed into the world. Spoiled, self-centered, overly stimulated, ADD ridden, lazy heathens who have a ton of entitlement issues. Always with their hand out saying Gimme...I need...I want!
People we missed a valuable lesson from our parents and past generations. We had to work hard for everything we got and that included a butt whuppin'. Even after the hard work, we still got nothing most of the time. By nothing I mean nothing material. It was not meant for us to get rewarded for what we were supposed to do. Our jobs were simple: go to school and get great grades. We had no excuse for yuckin' up. We missed our shout que and our feel good about our accomplishment cue. We were too busy crying for the Gameboy or the new Jordans to see that we should've been proud of ourselves. Now we have become parents and our kids don't respect us because they don't know the meaning of the concept: EARN. We hand everything to them on a silver platter just for the hell of it.
Explain to me how the kid who has everything; Mom who put her dreams on hold, struggled thru a mediocre job to provide flyest clothes, b-day parties thrown in dancehalls, tv and dvd player in her own room and a cellphone can turn around and lie to a judge about being abused cause she has to wash dishes every night. Then to add insult to injury tells the judge she'd rather go live with the deadbeat freshly unabsent parent. Also explain to me how a child that has a drug addict as a mother, who considers themselves lucky if they ever see the inside of a public school and has to wake up every morning to clean up fresh puke of mom's late night binge can have nothing but compassion and unconditional love just becasue that's their mom.
Am I missing something people? I'd love to say we can help each other get back to where we were but some of y'all parents are more ignorant than your children. Your kid is out in the street cussin' like a sailor or got a skirt on showing off her latest ass cheek tattoo. The first thing you have to say is "Don't nobody talk to my child like that." "You ain't his/her mama." " Mind yo' own damn business." Wish granted! Everyone's minding their own business and turns a blind eye to the problem than can be corrected if someone would only take the time to get all up in someone else's business. Our little hatchlings are all our business.
The sins of the father and mother has a huge impact on our kids. When did we stop caring? Why don't we stop the spoiling and put the strap back into play? Since when does a 12 year old decide he/she can divorce their parents? I smell a set-up or in plain terms...C-O-N-spiracy! Let's take our power back y'all. It's never too late.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Friend..What's your definition?
As you get older, you will soon come to realize that the myriad of friends you had while in high school has dwindled down to a solid two or three if you're lucky. Once you start to progress up the proverbial ladder, the people who are truest will be by your side cheering you on.
The word friend is so misused these days. It's starting to become synonymous with doormat and free-ride. In Webster's dictionary, there are five different definitions of the word friend and I quote :
1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : ACQUAINTANCE??? (who put that there)
2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4 : a favored companion
5 capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war -- called also Quaker.
Examine carefully these five. What resonates off of the words? Do you get a warm fuzzy feeling of agreement? Or is your right eyebrow arched and followed by a "hmmph"?
Attached by affection or esteem! Wow. I value the friends that I have beyond what words could ever say. I don't ask for much of them except truth and support. We all have a common belief or interest. Our values and morals are basically mirrored. The ground rules as a friend are simple.
-If you see me making an ass of myself, don't be afraid to tell me "Girl, you're making an ass of yourself."
-If I become temporarily blind by excitement or love, as the outside person looking in, let me make my mistakes but don't stand there and watch me sink. Know when to say when.
-For the women, we respect each other's space, time and significant others. (MESSAGE) Be it a crush, boyfriend, husband or plaything. He's off limits and should be immediately unattractive to you.
-For the co-ed friends, know that once you cross that invisible line, there is such a thing as going back. If your friendship is real, it can withstand anything. If you both are mature, you can both understand that it didn't work out now let's just do what we do best. Be friends!
-If the co-eds are strictly platonic, then no worries if both parties are being honest about their feelings and intentions for the other. Men and women can be JUST friends. It's a mutual agreement.
Don't just give the title of friend away. It must be earned.
There's a new word in town ladies and gents: ACQUAINTANCE! (there's that darn word again ...lol)
Familiarize yourselves with it. Yes, I know it's under the definition of friend but trust me. Take your time to look it up. You'll thank me that you did. I personally can count my real friends on one hand. They are the ones that no matter how happy or how idiotic I get at times, they never judge me and are still with me today. We have all grown together. All of us not necessarily going in the same direction but it's cool because we are moving forward to something better. None of the two of us are the same but neither are we that much different from the other. How's that for an oxymoron! (LOL) Better yet try saying that five times really fast.
Cherish the "real" people that you have in your lives. Very rarely will you make a new friend for life once you've passed the age of 30. Don't judge cuz' really who the heck are you to anyway! Don't believe the hype. There's no such thing as always hurting the ones you love. If I love you, you best believe I'm going out of my way to make sure I never intentionally cause you any pain. And on that note, to infinity and beyond and so is the love I have for you guys. Be easy my buds and till next time...Smooches!
The word friend is so misused these days. It's starting to become synonymous with doormat and free-ride. In Webster's dictionary, there are five different definitions of the word friend and I quote :
1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : ACQUAINTANCE??? (who put that there)
2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4 : a favored companion
5 capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war -- called also Quaker.
Examine carefully these five. What resonates off of the words? Do you get a warm fuzzy feeling of agreement? Or is your right eyebrow arched and followed by a "hmmph"?
Attached by affection or esteem! Wow. I value the friends that I have beyond what words could ever say. I don't ask for much of them except truth and support. We all have a common belief or interest. Our values and morals are basically mirrored. The ground rules as a friend are simple.
-If you see me making an ass of myself, don't be afraid to tell me "Girl, you're making an ass of yourself."
-If I become temporarily blind by excitement or love, as the outside person looking in, let me make my mistakes but don't stand there and watch me sink. Know when to say when.
-For the women, we respect each other's space, time and significant others. (MESSAGE) Be it a crush, boyfriend, husband or plaything. He's off limits and should be immediately unattractive to you.
-For the co-ed friends, know that once you cross that invisible line, there is such a thing as going back. If your friendship is real, it can withstand anything. If you both are mature, you can both understand that it didn't work out now let's just do what we do best. Be friends!
-If the co-eds are strictly platonic, then no worries if both parties are being honest about their feelings and intentions for the other. Men and women can be JUST friends. It's a mutual agreement.
Don't just give the title of friend away. It must be earned.
There's a new word in town ladies and gents: ACQUAINTANCE! (there's that darn word again ...lol)
Familiarize yourselves with it. Yes, I know it's under the definition of friend but trust me. Take your time to look it up. You'll thank me that you did. I personally can count my real friends on one hand. They are the ones that no matter how happy or how idiotic I get at times, they never judge me and are still with me today. We have all grown together. All of us not necessarily going in the same direction but it's cool because we are moving forward to something better. None of the two of us are the same but neither are we that much different from the other. How's that for an oxymoron! (LOL) Better yet try saying that five times really fast.
Cherish the "real" people that you have in your lives. Very rarely will you make a new friend for life once you've passed the age of 30. Don't judge cuz' really who the heck are you to anyway! Don't believe the hype. There's no such thing as always hurting the ones you love. If I love you, you best believe I'm going out of my way to make sure I never intentionally cause you any pain. And on that note, to infinity and beyond and so is the love I have for you guys. Be easy my buds and till next time...Smooches!
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
QUESTIONS...
(Here's a lil ditty I wrote on July 12, 2005 2:59pm before my intuition kicked into 5th gear to giving this dude the boot. It's copywritten so please NO PLAGIARISM!!! I can put it in a greeting card for you for a nominal fee...)
3 things I'd like you to do: Hold conversations with me and not only when there's a problem, be a man of your word and let me know where I fall on your list of priorities. (Think really hard before answering the last one.)
We are ready to let our guards down. I have no idea why they are up in the 1st place. Let go of past behaviours and fears so that we can move forward instead of being stagnant.
When we're alone together what makes me the most uncomfortable is your short attention span.
When we're in public what makes me most uncomfortable is your dislike for people coupled with your temper.
Right now I'm tolerating our 2 minute conversations and the fact that we exchange I love you's but we really don't know much about each other. Basics don't count.
Your goofiness and our ability to laugh is what makes me want to spend more time with you.
The silly arguments and the feel of walking on eggshells makes me not want to spend more time with you.
Our arguing makes me feel drained. Even though we do talk about what's going on, the fact that we fight about the same thing or something similar a day or two afterwards only leads me to believe that our talking doesn't lead to understanding and resolution.
In anger and frustration, you should never ever say that you want to leave unless you are serious and really want out. Never ever call each other names outside of our respectable names. Or the in famous "WHATEVER!"
Working hours and time spent with our kids should be the only time we spend apart. Unless we set aside time for our own personal "ME" time.
How long are we in this relationship for? Great question! Right at this moment I don't feel like I'm in a relationship unless "Me, myself and I count as two people.
What I think will keep us happily together is maturity on both parts, communication with effective talking and listening and the open minds to try nice things and step outside of our comfort zones. Don't allow us to get boring!
My need to be totally understood. It's a childhood hang up that I still go through. I've realized that I understand me best. God foremost though. To spend my life proving who I am to other people who may not last too long is really not how I want to spend my years.
J. Phill
© July 2005
3 things I'd like you to do: Hold conversations with me and not only when there's a problem, be a man of your word and let me know where I fall on your list of priorities. (Think really hard before answering the last one.)
We are ready to let our guards down. I have no idea why they are up in the 1st place. Let go of past behaviours and fears so that we can move forward instead of being stagnant.
When we're alone together what makes me the most uncomfortable is your short attention span.
When we're in public what makes me most uncomfortable is your dislike for people coupled with your temper.
Right now I'm tolerating our 2 minute conversations and the fact that we exchange I love you's but we really don't know much about each other. Basics don't count.
Your goofiness and our ability to laugh is what makes me want to spend more time with you.
The silly arguments and the feel of walking on eggshells makes me not want to spend more time with you.
Our arguing makes me feel drained. Even though we do talk about what's going on, the fact that we fight about the same thing or something similar a day or two afterwards only leads me to believe that our talking doesn't lead to understanding and resolution.
In anger and frustration, you should never ever say that you want to leave unless you are serious and really want out. Never ever call each other names outside of our respectable names. Or the in famous "WHATEVER!"
Working hours and time spent with our kids should be the only time we spend apart. Unless we set aside time for our own personal "ME" time.
How long are we in this relationship for? Great question! Right at this moment I don't feel like I'm in a relationship unless "Me, myself and I count as two people.
What I think will keep us happily together is maturity on both parts, communication with effective talking and listening and the open minds to try nice things and step outside of our comfort zones. Don't allow us to get boring!
My need to be totally understood. It's a childhood hang up that I still go through. I've realized that I understand me best. God foremost though. To spend my life proving who I am to other people who may not last too long is really not how I want to spend my years.
J. Phill
© July 2005
The second of the Month!!!
Greetings earth beings! It's the fabulous shock jock from Brook-Nam!
Yeah right. Who am I kidding? Brooklyn is not as tough as the world would like to believe but then again I'm not a wanna' be thug getting caught in everybody's crossfire. An idea came to mind today to do a word of the day type of thingee. You know build those impoverished vocabulary skills we've all inherited since we graduated high school. I know I know. This may be a bit too much for some of you to handle so I've decided 2 words a week. Better? Great! Keep up with your laziness and I'll assign essays to go along with those words. (teehee) Forgive me and my childhood fantasy of wanting to be a school teacher. Well more like college professor! Sexy business suit that falls just above the knee. Maximum cleavage! Distract all the guys (well the straight ones) and give them all F's at the end of the semester for not focusing. (teehee)
Ok here's the word or one of them:
circumlocution: the use of many words to express an idea that might be expressed by few.
Put that into you everyday speech. I dare ya!
Monday, August 01, 2005
The first of the month!!!
Well hello and welcome to Blog-a-phone!!! Haha...just kidding. It's the first day of August and I feel great. After the events of the past few weeks, if it wasn't for my endless prayers to stay strong and keep the faith, I'd be a wondering basket case right about now. To make a long story short, the treacherous hand of love dealt me yet another dud. Along with, the nostalgia of rekindling an old high school friendship that should've stayed in high school. Old friend slept with new boyfriend in a nutshell.
Despite those events, I'm on cloud ten. Why shouldn't I be? With every morning and every new breath, I realize more and more how freaking fabulous I am. The world as I know it isn't ready for someone like me. I am of a new species, a new breed of thinkers and movers. I make things happen. I live life to the extreme. Those folks who yuck up are missing out big time. In my almost 30 years on this planet, my tolerance for fake people with ill intentions is at NIL! From here on out, it's all about fun and all about me! When I feel the urge to save the world, I'll donate to my favorite charity. I'm open to ideas of things to try without getting ridiculous. I'm a single mother for crying out loud and taking my life into my own hands right now is just counter-productive.
Keep in mind that this is my very first experience in the world of the Blog. So please I can take criticism just don't slay me with the harsh words! LOL.
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